


Why Do You Kiss Everybody But Me?

by justyrae



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Feelings, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:33:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1949991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/pseuds/justyrae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Fiona make a bet that if Nick can snog every member of One Direction, then Fiona will ask Ian out on a date. Nick agrees to this for three reasons: 1. He never turns down a bet. 2. He's completely plastered. 3. How hard could it be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Do You Kiss Everybody But Me?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lowi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowi/gifts).



> quite proud of myself for this one, what with signing up for the exchange as a pinch hitter and writing this start to finish in two days. hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> title from 'Love You Much Better' by the Hush Sound

If there is one thing that Nick Grimshaw should not do when he is absolutely pissed is make bets. Unfortunately, if there's one thing that Nick Grimshaw _loves_ to do when he's absolutely pissed, it's make bets. Everything just seems like such a good idea when you've had one (or four) too many.

Really, it was all Fiona's fault. All Nick was doing was whinging about how long it had been since he'd had a proper snog, and she had to go and rub it in his face. Or, well, not so much rub it in his face but rather point out the fact that one of his best friends was _Harry Styles_ and "really, Nick, how are you not snogging him every minute of every day?"

"It's not like that!" he protested, to which Fiona snorted - which was quite unladylike, if anyone was asking.

"Right. You don't want to snog Harry Styles. Tell me another, Grimmy. Perhaps how you'd rather snog me?"

"Oh, Christ, Fi," Nick moaned as he laid his head down on the table between them, choosing to ignore the fact that his cheek was in a puddle of something he probably didn't want to identify.

"Actually," Fiona continued with a dreamy sort of look on her face, "I don't know why you haven't tried snogging all of One Direction. They're all ridiculously fit."

"What're you getting at?" Nick asked, picking his head up and grimacing at the sticky residue that was all over his cheek.

"You know what I'm getting at," Fiona replied with a smirk as she attempted to wink. In her drunken state she ended up blinking both eyes instead and Nick tried his best not to laugh. He ended up failing and Fiona punched his shoulder.

"Oi, that was rude." Nick frowned. "Just tell me, already."

"Christ, you're thick when you're sloshed." Fiona sighed, becoming distracted as she looked around. "Where the fuck is Greg?"

"Dunno, don't care." Nick snapped his fingers. "Focus!"

"What? Oh, right. You should snog One Direction."

Nick burst out laughing and toppled over in his seat. It was very lucky that he and Fiona had snagged a booth, otherwise he wouldn't be nearly as pleased with himself.

"Why would I do that?" Nick asked once he'd calmed down, the occasional giggle still sneaking out here and there.

"Why _wouldn't_ you?" Fiona said, the dreamy look returning to her face. "C'mon, Grims, it'd be fantastic."

"No, no, absolutely not!"

"C'mon," Fiona pleaded. "I'll- I'll...ask Ian on a date!"

Nick's mouth fell open. "You wouldn't."

"I would! On the radio, even!"

"Just to get me to snog One Direction?"

"What's this about snogging One Direction?" Fiona and Nick both turned as Greg popped up, drinks in hand. "What've you two been up to while I was away?"

"Fiona's going to ask out Ian! On air!" Nick explained, positively gleeful at the very idea.

"Only if Nick manages to snog every member of One Direction," Fiona added with a grin.

"Oh really?" Greg replied, amused and clearly not drunk enough to think it was as good of an idea as the other two did. "And how will you know that he's snogged them, eh?"

"That's-" Fiona started, pausing as the thought weaved its way through her alcohol-addled brain and came to rest. "Very good point, Greg. How _will_ I know?" She turned to Nick and raised her eyebrows, clearly waiting on him to come up with an idea.

"Why're you looking at me?" Nick asked before hiding his face in his fresh drink.

"Obviously you've got to have a witness," Greg explained, "otherwise you could show up at work in a week and just _say_ you've snogged them all."

"I could," Nick said with a smile, as though he'd only just thought of the idea himself.

"You absolutely could not," Fiona snapped. "You've got to do it with someone around so I know you're not lying, you twat."

"I would never!" Nick stared at her aghast, as if he hadn't just been contemplating lying only thirty seconds earlier. It wasn't his fault his short-term memory was shit when he was drunk.

"You would," Greg replied with a snicker. "Tell you what, I'll be the witness, yeah? You've got to snog them while I'm around or it doesn't count."

"You just want to see me snog boys, I see how it is." Nick narrowed his eyes and waggled a finger in Greg's direction. "M'onto you."

"Oh, yes, it's my life mission to see Nick Grimshaw snog the faces off of One Direction," Greg deadpanned.

"Settled, then." Fiona grinned as she held up her drink in a toast. "To Nick, and his mission to snog."

"Hear, hear!" Greg shouted as he clinked his glass against Fiona's.

"I'm going to murder the lot of you," Nick murmured, unable to keep a grin off his face as he joined in the toast. It wouldn't be until the next morning, and only after reading Greg's text reminding him of the bet, that Nick would realize what he'd gotten himself into.

But really, how hard could it be?

*

As it turned out, trying to corner the members of One Direction one by one for a snog was a lot harder than Nick had ever imagined. He'd chosen his first mark to be Harry, mainly because Nick figured that he would probably be the easiest.

Granted, it would probably be far easier if Nick could just _tell_ them what he was up to but after casually mentioning it to Greg who quickly told Fiona, it was written into the rules that telling them anything about the bet before snogging was strictly forbidden.

"Can't make it too easy, can I?" Fiona had said with a smug smile.

"You're a witch," Nick had replied in a mumble.

Regardless, he now had to figure out a way to a) get Harry away from the other four and b) snog him while making sure Greg witnessed it. The first part was easy, the second...well, it wasn't going so well.

"Why's Greg following us?"

"Dunno," Nick answered quickly as he tugged Harry down a corridor in the BBC building. Nick had seized the opportunity to get Harry away from Louis, who was always strangely attached to Harry when Nick was around. Even more than usual, if the pictures online were at all true - not that Nick spent his spare time looking up pictures of One Direction. Absolutely not.

"Nick, where're we going?" Harry asked, his tone switching from amused to slightly worried as he glanced over his shoulder at Louis who stared at the two of them with eyes full of distrust.

"Just-" Nick opened the door to an empty conference room and sighed in relief. "Here we are."

He pulled Harry through the door and glared at Greg who was still halfway down the hall before shutting and locking the door behind them.

"What's this all about?" Harry asked, masking his worry with a nervous laugh. "Are you alright, Nick?"

"M'fine," Nick answered quickly, trying to catch his breath so as to not let on how flustered this whole situation was making him. Really, it should not be this hard to snog Harry Styles.

"Okay," Harry replied in an entirely unconvinced tone.

"Would you kiss me?" Nick asked, though he spoke so quickly that the words came out all muddled together and Harry just sort of stared at him in confusion.

"Sorry, what?"

"Would. You. Kiss. Me." Harry's eyes widened; the confused look on his face turned to one of amusement, biting back a grin as he tried not to laugh.

"What brought this on?"

Nick huffed as he frantically tried to come up with a logical reason for why he would be choosing now of all times to ask Harry to kiss him. He was well aware that every move they made in their friendship was watched by the media, and this was just _asking_ for trouble.

Of course, it wasn't like Harry had never asked the same of Nick back in the early days when Harry was still so young and unsure of who he was. But, being the responsible adult that he is - no matter how many people said otherwise - Nick always told him no.

"I just-" Nick groaned softly, already feeling the guilt rise and he hadn't even started to lie yet. "There was this bloke the other night, alright? Said I was rubbish at it and, I don't know, I just wanted someone else's opinion. Someone I trust."

"Nick," Harry said sadly. "You shouldn't feel bad about that. Whoever he was, he's obviously an idiot and doesn't know you at all."

"How would you know?" Nick chuckled, unable to stop himself. "We've never kissed, if you remember."

"I do remember," Harry replied with a smile. "Because you always said no."

"M'not saying no now, am I?"

"Nick," Harry repeated as he rolled his eyes.

"S'alright," Nick mumbled as he looked at the floor. "Forget it."

He was going to Hell for this. Absolutely, positively damned for life for lying to Harry Styles in the first place, and _now_ he was guilt-tripping him? Nick hardly knew who he was anymore, but he was sure that Harry saw right through it.

Harry let out a soft sigh before stepping forward and cupping Nick's cheeks, bringing their lips together in a kiss. Nick was so taken aback that he didn't quite realize what had happened at first, but once he had he kissed right back.

He most certainly didn't expect Harry to kiss him, nor did he expect Harry to _give it everything he had_. By the time he pulled away, Nick was breathless and staring wide-eyed at Harry who had an unbelievably large smile on his face.

"Told you he was an idiot."

"Who?" Nick asked, his mind still reeling.

"The bloke from the other night? He's the one who can't kiss. You're lovely."

Harry lightly kissed Nick's cheek before he ducked around and went out the door. Nick stood frozen in place, only remembering himself when he heard Harry say "Hi, Greg!" before he took off down the hallway back towards Louis.

Nick turned around to see Greg smirking at him; taking in the full scene of Nick looking thoroughly well-snogged and completely surprised about it. Nick cleared his throat loudly and then gave an awkward laugh.

"One down, four to go?" he offered with a shrug.

"You're mental, you are." Greg hooked his arm around Nick's neck, towing him back down the hallway. Harry and Louis had disappeared, and Nick didn't spare another thought about it.

*

Next on Nick's list - not that he _had_ one, really - was Liam. His first thought was to go to Funky Buddha because it was well-known that Liam was there more often than not. But just as quickly as that thought came to him, Nick pushed it away for the same reason: _it was well-known_.

The last thing Nick wanted was to start some ridiculous scandal about him trying to turn the members of One Direction gay just for a silly bet. This had to be done discreetly, without any chance of ruining anyone's life.

With that in mind, Nick was absolutely stumped.

He needed advice on how to go about snogging someone he really, for all intents and purposes, barely knew. He couldn't go to Fiona or Greg - for obvious reasons - and he had a sinking feeling that any of his friends outside of the BBC would poke and prod until Nick told them who he wanted to snog.

Still, he probably could've come up with something better than what he ended up doing.

"Finchy, how do you snog someone you don't know?"

"...what."

Fiona erupted into a fit of giggles as Matt stared blankly at Nick, who'd just asked him that question while they were on the air. He and Ian shared a look of absolute confusion while Nick laughed awkwardly, trying not to glare daggers at Fiona who was having a ridiculously hard time composing herself.

"Just saying, like, would you go up to someone you've met a few times and say, ‘hey, fancy a snog?' or would that be too forward, you think?"

"I…" Matt cleared his throat. "I dunno? Depends on who you're trying to snog, I s'pose."

"Alright, well, if it were you, Finchy..."

"Y'mean if you were trying to snog _me_?"

"Is this your way of saying you want to snog Finchy, Nick?" Ian asked, now starting to laugh just as much as Fiona was while Matt looked positively terrified.

"Oh for- No! Stop laughing!" Nick chastised the both of them, rolling his eyes at the way Matt was edging further and further away from Nick at all costs. "You're all idiots, I don't know why I ask you anything."

"As long as you're not trying to snog me, you can ask me anything you like," Matt said, though he was still eyeing Nick warily.

"M'just saying, you've chatted up girls, yeah? How's it work for you?"

"Christ, are you trying to chat up a girl, now?"

"Oh, forget it, Finchy. Let's just play a song."

*

Kissing Liam Payne happened in such a roundabout way that if Nick hadn't been a part of it, he wouldn't believe it at all. It all started the same day Nick had decided to ask Matt for advice - which he was still kicking himself for ever thinking it was a good idea - when Nick had been talked into going to the gym with Greg.

"But I _hate_ the gym!" Nick whined. "All those fit people, it's bloody distracting!"

"Stop making excuses. You're going."

Nick whined loudly all the way there, telling Greg he was an awful person for making him go. If Nick wanted to exercise, he'd do it on his own. After all, walking from the telly to the fridge certainly counted, right?

"Certainly does not," Greg replied before pushing Nick onto a treadmill.

"Hate you," Nick muttered as he started the treadmill going at the slowest pace. "Thought I was done with this nonsense after Sport Relief."

Greg didn't answer, he simply grinned at him before he walked away to use another machine. Nick continued grumbling under his breath, only increasing the speed on the treadmill by one or two levels before someone climbed onto the one next to him.

"Fancy seeing you here, Grimmy."

Nick stared. " _Liam_? What're you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he replied with a smile as he turned on his treadmill, setting the pace to a light run. "Heard your show today, by the way."

"Yeah?" Nick said as he upped his own speed. Not because Liam was going faster but because he wanted to, thank you very much. "How'd you like it?"

"It was great," he said with a short laugh, "especially the bit about wanting to snog Finchy."

"Oh god," Nick groaned loudly as Liam continued to laugh. "I do not want to snog Finchy!"

"Why not?" Liam grinned. "Reckon he'd be a good kisser."

"Oh, and where's this coming from?" Nick asked in amusement. "Do you want to snog Finchy?"

"Shut it," Liam said as his cheeks turned pink. Nick pretended not to notice how it only occurred after he'd brought up kissing a boy, instead chalking it up to Liam's workout.

"Dunno why he wouldn't," Nick remarked a few minutes later. "Snog you, that is," he added when Liam gave him a confused look. "Anyone would be mad not to want to snog you."

"You don't have to say that," Liam said, turning even redder as he stared down at the treadmill below him.

"M'not," Nick replied with a light laugh. "I'd snog your face off if you'd let me."

"Yeah?" Liam slowed his pace down until his treadmill was off, and he turned to look at Nick. "Would you really?"

Nick turned off his treadmill - ignoring how hard he was panting because working out really wasn't his strong suit - and turned to look at Liam.

"‘Course, have you seen yourself?" Nick laughed again. "Like I said, anyone would be mad to not want to, boy or girl."

"Is it much different, kissing a boy?"

"Well, I've never-" Nick paused and narrowed his eyes. "Hang on, you been thinking about kissing a boy?"

"No," Liam answered quickly. "Well, yes, but you can't-"

"I wouldn't," Nick replied, shushing Liam. "You know I wouldn't."

Liam nodded, swallowing harshly as he looked around to make sure no one had been eavesdropping on their conversation.

"I don't know him, do I?" Nick teased lightly. Liam turned even redder, but didn't answer.

Nick turned away from Liam and caught Greg's eye, who'd been discreetly watching them with an amused smirk. Nick chewed on his bottom lip, figuring now was probably the only time he'd have this opportunity, and he had to take it.

"C'mon," he said to Liam, motioning for him to follow. Liam followed quietly, not wanting to draw any attention to the pair of them as they moved through the gym. Nick led Liam into one of the locker rooms, which was deserted but choosing to be extra cautious he ended up pulling him into one of the handicapped bathroom stalls.

"Nick, what're we-"

"Said you wanted to snog a boy, yeah?"

Liam bit his lip and blushed more, which Nick found hopelessly endearing. There was no one on the planet who could possibly resist Liam Payne; he's just too adorable for words.

"I do, but-" Liam sighed softly. "M'nervous."

"Aww, love." Nick smiled. "Don't be nervous. Nothing to be nervous about, not with me."

"Alright," Liam replied softly, darting his eyes from Nick's own down to his lips.

"Alright," Nick repeated before closing the gap between them in a gentle kiss.

Liam was hesitant at first, but soon enough Nick was surprised to find himself being pushed against the wall while Liam kissed him hungrily. After a few minutes of practically desperate snogging, Liam pulled away with a breathy chuckle.

"Guess I like that, then."

"I'd say so," Nick replied with a laugh. "Fuck, Liam, you are not as innocent as I thought you were."

Liam bit his lip again and smiled, causing Nick's heart to melt all over again.

"Fuck, back to puppy dog. Stop that!" Nick smacked Liam's shoulder and Liam snickered.

Liam's phone started ringing, causing both of them to jump. He pulled it from his pocket, chuckling lightly as he showed Nick the caller ID: Louis Tomlinson.

"Forgot, s'posed to meet him."

"Can't keep him waiting, eh?" Nick smirked and Liam shook his head.

"Thanks, Grimmy," he said softly. He gave Nick another light kiss before he exited the stall, leaving Nick all by himself.

"Absolutely mad," Nick muttered as he rubbed his face, his fingers trailing over his lips lightly before he too left the stall.

There, standing near the sinks, was Greg.

"Two down," he said, smiling widely. "Who's next?"

"Your mum," Nick replied cheekily, yelping when Greg swatted his arse.

They bickered lightly as they left the locker room, all the way back to the treadmills where Nick begrudgingly returned to his prior workout. He turned to send one last glare at Greg when he noticed Liam and Louis standing near the door to the locker room. Nick laughed at himself, knowing they must've passed right by them and didn't even notice.

Louis, Nick noticed, did not look all that pleased. And even less so when he realized Nick was looking - or rather, staring - right at them. He glared at Nick before grabbing Liam's arm and pulling him away.

Nick rolled his eyes and returned to his workout, bitching and moaning about Greg under his breath.

*

It had been nearly a week since Nick kissed Liam, and ever since he'd been trying to come up with an idea as to how he was going to kiss Zayn. The more he thought about it, the more he cursed Fiona for ever coming up with this idea in the first place. It had all seemed so easy in the beginning but now that he was actually trying to accomplish it, everything seemed impossible.

But if there was one thing he was absolutely not going to do it was give up. Nick Grimshaw never quits. Well, almost never quits.

"I'm not going back to the gym, Greg! You cannot make me!"

"It's good for you!" Greg protested.

"Don't care, not doing it."

Greg rolled his eyes and huffed loudly, but was cut off by the sound of Nick's phone ringing before he could make any further arguments.

"Well hello, Harry!" Nick greeted brightly upon answering his phone.

"Hiya, Nick," Harry replied with a soft laugh. "What're you up to?"

"Greg's trying to make me go to the gym," Nick whined. "Make him stop."

Harry laughed again. "You're ridiculous. What about tonight, you doing anything?"

"Nursing my wounds, if Greg gets his way." Nick chuckled, dodging a swat from Greg. "Why?"

"M'having a party, I'd love to have you."

"Aww, Harold. You know I love your parties, of course I'll come."

"Oh, good." Harry sighed in relief.

"What, did you think I'd say no?"

"No! I just-" Harry laughed softly. "I didn't know if you'd already have plans, is all."

"I've always got time for you, love." Nick grinned. "Want me to bring anything?"

"Just bring your charming self and we'll be all set," Harry answered, a smile evident in his voice. "I know the lads will be glad to see you."

"The lads?" Nick repeated softly as Greg caught his eye and gave him an intrigued look. "Hang on a sec, would you?"

"What?" Greg asked as Nick covered the mouthpiece of his phone and grinned.

"You're not doing anything tonight, are you?" Greg shook his head, still staring at Nick inquisitively as he put his phone back up to his ear. "Harry, is it alright if I bring Greg?"

"Greg? Sure, um," Harry's voice dropped down an octave and Nick nearly had to strain to hear him, "did I miss something? Are you two together or-"

"Christ, Harry, no!" Nick cackled. "Just a mate, like you."

"Oh. Alright, then." Harry's voice brightened once more. "Perfect! See you tonight! 7, my place."

"Later, popstar," Nick replied with a gentle laugh as he hung up and Greg raised an eyebrow.

"Do I want to know what Harry said?"

"Probably not." Nick smirked.

Convincing Greg to come to the party with him was only mildly more difficult than Nick had assumed it would be. The promise of free booze only went so far, after all.

"C'mon, if you don't come then I'll have wasted an opportunity to snog one of the remaining three and who knows when I'll get another chance," Nick whined.

"Why did I volunteer for this, again?" Greg asked with a groan as he tried to fend off Nick's hands clawing at his shoulder. "Oi, shove off!"

"Not until you promise to come with me!" Nick climbed on top of Greg and refused to get off until he agreed, resulting in a quite happy Nick and a rumpled and very displeased Greg.

"I should be getting something out of this," he grumbled, shoving Nick's shoulder roughly.

"The pleasure of my company, obviously." Nick grinned. "Ow! Not the face!"

*

Nick couldn't help but feel smug once he and Greg had made it to the party, mostly because after an hour it was clear Greg was having a fantastic time. However, the fact remained that they'd been at the party for over an hour and Nick hadn't seen Zayn. Or anyone in One Direction for that matter, apart from Harry.

He couldn't very well ask Harry where they all were or risk exposing the bet and hurting a lot of feelings all around. Absolutely no one could find out about it outside of Nick, Greg and Fiona or else Nick was sure his entire world would crash down around him.

So he had to wait. And use it as a perfectly good excuse to get drunk, of course.

Another hour passed before Nick excused himself from his current conversation to step outside for a smoke, which is where he managed to find Zayn and Liam. He blinked at the pair of them, trying to determine if he was actually drunk enough to be hallucinating - wouldn't be the first time - when Liam turned his way and smiled sheepishly.

"Hello, Nick."

"Lovely to see you, Liam." He turned to Zayn and smiled, his eyes falling to the pack of cigarettes in his hand. "Oh, can I bum one?"

Zayn chuckled lightly as he nodded and held it out. Nick found he had to concentrate rather hard to manage to pluck one from the pack, but once he did he brandished it with joy.

"M'heading in," Liam said with a laugh as Nick took Zayn's lighter and tried to light his cigarette, failing quite spectacularly. "See you," he added to Nick, blushing ever so lightly as he passed by.

"Christ," Zayn mumbled, grabbing the lighter out of Nick's hands and lighting his cigarette for him. "Y'were gonna light yourself before you lit that."

"Cheers," Nick said happily as he inhaled, taking Liam's spot leaning against the railing next to Zayn. "Didn't know you lot were here."

"Sometimes we can be sneaky," Zayn replied with a smirk. "Comes in handy, yeah?"

"I can imagine," Nick replied as he glanced to the door that Liam had exited, seeing Greg just happen to pass by with an enormous grin on his face.

"Liam seemed happy to see you," Zayn mused between puffs from his own cigarette.

"Oh, lovely Liam. He's adorable, isn't he?" Nick said with a drunken laugh. "So sweet, such a good lad-"

"Good kisser too, eh?"

Nick choked on nothing at all, doubling over coughing while Zayn snickered. When he'd finally stood up again and composed himself, Nick stared at Zayn.

"Come again?" Zayn rolled his eyes.

"As if Liam wouldn't tell me."

"Well-" Nick hadn't thought of that. How could he have been so blind as to not think about the repercussions of them all finding out? Nick hadn't taken into account the fact that these boys were rather like gossipy sixth formers - they told each other _everything_. "He said he'd never kissed a boy, so-"

Zayn snorted. "Yes, he has." Nick stared at him blankly. "I kissed Liam ages ago."

"You-" Nick couldn't help but laugh, somehow relieved by the smirk on Zayn's face.

"Well it wasn't a proper snog like you two, but still." Zayn paused to take another drag, blowing it out as he kept his eyes on Nick. "Said you were rather good."

"That's quite the compliment," Nick preened. "Liam Payne said I was a good snog."

"Might have to find out for myself," Zayn offered quietly, still smirking as he glanced around at the other people around them. Nick grinned as he leaned in closer.

"Can't say I wouldn't mind that." Nick sucked on his own cigarette, not breaking their eye contact for fear one of them would suddenly lose their nerve. "But hang on, aren't you engaged?"

"I am," Zayn said, his smirk turning into a thoughtful smile. "But m'not leaving Pezza for you, am I?"

Nick snorted. "Imagine the headline that _Heat_ would have on that one, eh?"

"You're an idiot," Zayn replied, shaking his head as he stamped out his cigarette. "C'mon, then."

"Alright, then, pushy," Nick retorted with amusement as he leaned forward to kiss Zayn.

It was different from kissing Harry or Liam, for obvious reasons; the stale taste of tobacco mixed with whatever drink Zayn had been sipping on before Nick had found him. Nick usually found snogging after smoking quite abominable but he wasn't going to turn down Zayn Malik.

"Liam was right," Zayn murmured softly, licking his lips after he'd pulled back. "Not bad at all."

"Hey," Nick protested with a light shove. "Liam said I was rather good, not _not bad_."

Zayn laughed, the sound so infectious that Nick joined in. Their amusement was short-lived when they heard Zayn's name being called rather forcefully from across the patio. Nick turned to see Louis storming towards them, the same unimpressed look on his face that Nick had seen so often lately.

"What's all this?" Louis demanded, crossing his arms.

"Nothing," Zayn replied, holding back a smile. "Just mates having a laugh."

"I'm sure," he replied, remaining unconvinced as he stared down Nick. "Grimshaw."

" _Lewis_ ," Nick replied, trying not to burst into laughter as Zayn snorted beside him. "So good to see you."

Louis didn't say another word, too busy fuming to do much else than turn on his heel and storm back inside. As soon as the door slammed behind him, Zayn erupted into laughter again.

"Christ, I am going to get so much shit for that," he said with a deep sigh, a few remaining giggles falling from his lips.

"What's up his bum, anyway?" Nick asked, snatching his cigarette from the ashtray where it had been left smoldering. Zayn turned to look at him; a look that Nick couldn't quite manage to place the meaning of before Zayn was shrugging his shoulders.

"Maybe he needs a good snogging," he said casually. Nick chuckled under his breath, finding himself unable to meet Zayn's eye. "Probably pissed that I'm talking to you."

Nick frowned. "Honestly, I've done nothing but be pleasant to him. It's his own sodding attitude that makes things difficult."

"No argument here," Zayn replied with a laugh. "Though to be fair, here I am telling secrets to the one bloke I shouldn't be telling secrets to."

"Hang on," Nick said as he blinked and tried to think of where he'd heard that before. "Did you just-"

"Anyway, see you ‘round." Zayn grinned, interrupting Nick's inquiry and leaving him rather confused.

"Cheers," he called after Zayn as he headed inside, passing Greg by as he walked toward Nick.

"Three down, then?" Nick laughed and nodded.

"Seen Niall around?" he asked with a soft smile. Greg rolled his eyes and gestured inside. Nick beamed, bouncing forward to kiss Greg on the cheek.

"Lovely. No time like the present!"

*

Nick found Niall with Harry in the kitchen surrounded by other people Nick was far too drunk to recognize. He was immediately pulled into a hug by Harry, and handed a new drink by Niall before he returned to what looked like a deep conversation with a redhead Nick was certain he'd never seen before.

"Having fun?" Harry asked with a bright smile, his eyes slightly glazed over from the number of drinks he'd already had.

"Loads, as always." Nick smiled widely before he knocked back his drink, quickly searching for another. If he was going to gather courage to snog Niall after already snogging Zayn, he was going to have to settle for the liquid form.

Nick settled himself on the counter next to several bottles of liquor, figuring this would be the best place for him while he waited for a moment alone with Niall. He started chatting with some people he'd met at one of Harry's previous parties, though he couldn't remember any of their names.

Harry tucked himself under Nick's arm at one point, sighing happily when Nick ruffled his curls.

"Glad you came," he mumbled as he pinched Nick's drink from his hands, ignoring his protests as he sipped it.

"Just because this is your party doesn't mean you can steal my drink, popstar," Nick teased, flicking Harry's ear before snatching his cup back.

Harry frowned. "But yours is right here," he protested, trying to get it back.

"Hang on," Nick said as he turned away from Harry for a moment, swiping an empty cup and filling it with a few different types of liquor before passing it to him. "There you are."

Harry sniffed the cup and grimaced slightly, but ended up shrugging and drinking it anyway. Nick chuckled, shaking his head as he caught sight of Niall stumbling by. He tripped over his own two feet and knocked into Nick's legs, laughing uproariously as he steadied himself.

"Christ, Nialler." Harry shook his head. "What're you doing?"

"Trying to get to the loo," he said through his laughter. "Have I made it yet?"

"Not even close, love." Nick laughed as Niall groaned loudly.

"Nick, will you take him?" Harry asked, already becoming distracted by some blonde Nick didn't recognize - he really should figure out who Harry invites to his parties - and Nick chuckled.

"Alright, Niall. C'mon, now."

Niall threw his arms around Nick's neck, making both of them stumble as Nick tried to get to his feet. Harry's bathroom seemed miles away from the kitchen, especially with the way Niall was hanging all over him.

"You're like a goddamn monkey," Nick mumbled. Niall grinned widely and let out another raucous laugh.

"Spending too much time with Hazza," he replied, burying his head against Nick's chest. "You smell good."

"Well, thank you." Nick couldn't help but laugh. Maybe this was going to be easier than he thought. "You're sweet."

"Hazza told me," Niall started as Nick tried to open the bathroom door while still holding Niall upright. "Y'know, about the two of you. Snogging."

"Christ," Nick muttered with a laugh, "is nothing sacred amongst you lot?"

"What?" Niall asked, staring up at Nick with a confused look.

"Nothing," Nick replied with another laugh as he finally got the door open and the two of them stumbled inside. "Please tell me you can piss on your own."

"Yes." Niall looked down at the toilet. "Maybe. Which one's the real one?"

Nick laughed as he leaned against the door. "M'not sober enough for this."

"You and me both, mate."

By the time Niall finally got around to relieving himself, Nick was more or less starting to sober up. He watched as Niall washed his hands, giggling to himself.

"What's so funny?" Nick asked as Niall shuffled towards him, bracketing him with his arms on either side of his head.

"You." Niall grinned. "You're funny."

"You're drunk," Nick replied as he poked Niall in the nose. Niall wrinkled his nose and groaned softly.

"Harry didn't say you were a tease."

"I'm not a tease!" Nick tried to protest, but was cut off by Niall pressing their lips together. Nick made a soft, surprised noise as Niall kissed him, thrown off by not only Niall taking him by surprise but how _determined_ the kiss was.

Niall grinned after he pulled away, shrugging his shoulders lightly. "Alright, you're not a tease."

Nick let out a disbelieving laugh and shook his head. "Thanks, I think."

"C'mon, let's get another drink. I'm starting to feel sober," Niall said with a laugh as he pulled Nick away from the door and opened it. Nick followed him into the hallway, but froze when he saw two familiar faces staring at them.

At this point, Nick should've been used to seeing the angry look on Louis' face. But he was more taken aback by the absolute look of _hurt_ on Liam's. Niall, on the other hand, greeted them as though nothing was wrong, throwing his arms around both of them like he hadn't seen them in ages.

Liam pulled away from Niall almost immediately, taking off down the hallway without a word.

"Liam!" Niall called, turning to Louis with a look of confusion. "What's up with him?"

Louis glared at Nick, not bothering to answer Niall before he took off after Liam. Niall hummed thoughtfully as he turned back around to face Nick, gesturing in the direction his bandmates had just run off.

"That was weird, right?" Nick nodded. "Oh well. Time for another pint!"

Nick ran into Greg outside of the kitchen, wearing a confident smirk despite recent events. Greg watched Niall grab another drink and shook his head as he turned back to Nick.

"Good night, then?"

"One left," Nick replied. "Seen Louis around?"

"He ran out of here not too long ago, following Liam, I think."

"Shit," Nick sighed. "Imagine the look on Fi's face if I'd gotten three in one night."

"Nobody's that lucky," Greg replied, hooking his arm around Nick's neck and pulling him into a headlock. "Let's get you home before you cause any more trouble."

*

It had been a long time since Nick had been woken up by someone pounding on his front door, and he wasn't very pleased about it happening after a night of drinking. Coupled with Puppy barking her head off, Nick was about ready to murder whoever was on the other side of the door.

"Louis?" he asked wearily, blinking several times in the hopes that he wasn't actually seeing Louis fucking Tomlinson on his doorstep.

"Grimshaw," he snapped coldly, moving forward to go into Nick's flat but finding himself blocked by Nick's arm. "Move."

"What're you doing here?" Nick asked tiredly, barely being able to hold back a yawn. Louis narrowed his eyes, glaring harshly at Nick before pushing him out of the way and barging into his flat.

Nick sighed heavily as he closed the door, leaning his head against it before he turned around to face Louis. He had a distinct feeling that he was about to be screamed at, and he was not looking forward to it at all.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Louis demanded.

"When?" Nick asked. If he was going to be yelled at, the least he could do was have a bit of fun.

"I've been up all night with Liam; he's absolutely distraught! Thank god I managed to change the password on his Twitter account before he started posting depressing shit- are you _laughing_?!"

"No," Nick said through an obvious snicker. "Look, I didn't think Liam took our snog to mean anything, but-"

"Your _what_?" Louis seethed. "This is not-" he growled in frustration, "I can't fucking believe you!"

"Lou, m'really not in the mood-"

"I don't _care_ what you're in the mood for. And don't call me that!" Louis snapped. Nick sighed resignedly, sinking down onto his couch while Louis stayed standing, absolutely fuming.

"What did I do?"

"What did you do? What did you _do_?" Louis laughed. "Not only have you apparently snogged all four of my best friends, but you single-handedly managed to _break Liam's heart_ for, from what I can tell, your own amusement."

"I didn't-" Nick sighed again, coming to the realization that nothing he said was possibly going to help in this situation. "I wasn't trying to hurt anyone."

"So why'd you do it?" Louis crossed his arms and began tapping his foot impatiently. "Because I'd finally gotten Liam to admit his feelings about Niall, and he was going to-" Louis cut himself off, apparently not having realized what he'd admitted aloud.

"Niall?" Nick repeated before burying his head in his hands. " _That's_ the bloke Liam was talking about snogging?"

"He told you?" Louis stared at him open-mouthed.

"Not exactly," Nick said with a sheepish laugh. "Look, Louis, I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I'm sure-

"Whether you wanted to or not, you did," Louis snapped. "This whole mess is your fault, I can't believe that I ever wanted to kiss y-" Louis froze, immediately going pale as Nick looked up at him with a look of disbelief.

"What?" Nick asked softly. Louis immediately looked away and cleared his throat, going bright red as he tried to find his words.

"Nothing. I didn't- shut up. Dick."

Nick hardly had time to think let alone react before Louis was storming back out of his flat, slamming the door behind him. Puppy trotted over to Nick and sat down in front of him, tilting her head up questioningly.

"What?" Nick asked. "This is my fault?"

Puppy whined softly, quickly becoming bored and soon scampered away towards the kitchen. Nick rolled his eyes, sighing heavily as he cradled his head in his hands.

He'd never meant for things to end up like this. Nick groaned loudly as he trudged back into his bedroom and began pulling on clothes, looking around for his phone. He quickly typed out a message to Fiona - _can't do it. bet's off._ \- before grabbing his keys and running out the door after Louis.

The only problem was that Louis was long gone and Nick actually had no idea where he lived.

So Nick did the only logical thing he could think of. He called Harry.

"Nick?" Harry's sleepy voice came through the other end of the line with a groan. "What time is it?"

"Too early for me to be running around all of London looking for Louis."

"Louis?" Harry repeated with another groan. "Why're you looking for Louis?"

"It's a long story. Can you text me his address? I swear, I'll explain everything later."

"Yeah, alright." Harry sighed heavily. "I'm texting it to you now."

"Thanks, love. I'll call you later, yeah?"

"Night," Harry mumbled before hanging up. Nick snickered, checking his texts for Louis' address. Half an hour later, he was standing outside of Louis' flat, pounding on his door in the same fashion that Louis had used.

The door swung backwards to reveal not Louis but Liam, and Nick slumped.

"Hi."

"Hi," Liam replied, his eyes dropping down to the ground. Nick felt an overwhelming sense of regret for causing Liam to look so sad.

"I'm sorry," he offered. "I didn't mean-"

"I know," Liam interrupted, giving Nick a small, hesitant smile. "I should've said something."

"Not to me," Nick said with a soft laugh. "Does Niall even know?"

"Nah." Liam shook his head. "He'd laugh."

"He would not." Nick sighed. "Can I come in? I feel like maybe we shouldn't be having this conversation on Louis' doorstep."

Liam laughed. "Good point."

Nick hesitated after stepping inside, waiting for Liam to show him further into Louis' flat. It was quiet, but the flat was definitely well-lived in just based off of the amount of stuff that was scattered about.

"Liam, did you-" Louis came around a corner, freezing immediately upon seeing Nick. "What's he doing in here?"

"I let him in," Liam answered. "Think you two have some things to talk about." He looked between the pair of them with a small smile as he carefully backed away. "I've got a phone call to make."

Liam disappeared down a hallway to leave Louis and Nick alone, staring blankly at each other.

"Hi," Nick said, his eyes darting back and forth between Louis' and the floor.

Louis crossed his arms and glared at Nick, not giving an inch.

"You ran out before I could explain."

"I'm listening," Louis snapped. Nick sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he tried to think of where to start.

"It was a bet."

That was not the right place to start. Louis' eyes widened and Nick could tell that he was about to start screaming at him so he quickly continued.

"I was drunk! I never meant to hurt anyone, I just thought it'd be a laugh."

"What. What would be a laugh," Louis asked seethingly.

"Kissing each one of you," Nick admitted, dropping his gaze to the floor unable to meet Louis' eye. "If I managed it, Fiona said she'd ask Ian out on the air."

"So let me get this straight," Louis said, his voice thick. If Nick had looked up from the floor, he would've seen the tears in his eyes. "You thought that you could go around kissing all of us, not caring whose hearts you broke?"

"Yeah," Nick answered weakly.

"What were you thinking?! Harry _adores_ you, Zayn- Zayn is fucking _engaged_ , and- and Liam has been _in love_ with Niall for ages!"

"I didn't bloody know that, did I?"

"No, because you don't know anything!" Louis cried. "You're just- you're so oblivious to everything, aren't you?"

"I feel awful, alright? I don't need you making it worse!"

"And I don't need you ruining my life!" Louis yelled, stunning Nick entirely.

"I...what?" Nick looked up and finally saw the tears in Louis' eyes; how badly his chin was trembling from fighting the urge to cry.

"Why didn't you kiss me?" Louis asked, his voice dropping down to a whisper. He immediately looked away from Nick and choked back a sob. Nick slowly reached out to brush his shoulder and Louis flinched away.

"I'm sorry," Nick whispered. "I called the bet off, you don't have to-"

"I didn't want to kiss you anyway," Louis snapped, furiously rubbing at his cheeks as he turned back to Nick with red-rimmed eyes.

"Louis," Nick said softly, slowly reaching out again to cup Louis' cheek. To Nick's surprise, Louis didn't flinch this time. "It's alright if you do."

"Don't patronize me," Louis huffed. "I don't-

Nick shut Louis up with a kiss, wrapping his free arm around Louis' waist to pull him closer. Louis made an indignant noise but kissed back, fisting his hands in Nick's hair and tugging hard.

"You're such an idiot," Louis mumbled against Nick's lips.

"Same to you," Nick mumbled back, groaning when Louis started kissing down his neck. "You could've told me, y'know."

"Absolutely not," Louis replied before crashing their lips together again. Nick ended up pressing Louis against the wall, slotting his leg between Louis' to grind their hips together.

They broke apart at the sound of Liam clearing his throat; he was staring at them with a sheepish smile and very pink cheeks.

"Well...looks like you two talked it out, then." Liam bit his lip to hold back his laughter.

"Sod off, Payne," Louis grumbled.

"Can we help you with something?" Nick asked rather smugly, feeling rather good about having Louis still pinned to the wall.

"M'heading to Niall's," Liam said, his face breaking into a grin. Both Louis and Nick smiled back at him, calling out increasingly dirty things as Liam walked past on his way out of the flat.

"Where were we?" Nick asked after the door had closed, staring down at Louis.

"Right about here," Louis said as he slipped his hand between them, pressing it against Nick's groin. Nick groaned loudly as Louis latched onto his neck and started sucking a mark into his skin.

"You're going to be the death of me."

"Planning on it."

*

"Well, Fiona, isn't there something you've been meaning to ask Ian?" Nick asked casually the following morning on the air. Fiona glared at him, apparently still angry about Nick calling off the bet then putting it back on a few hours later.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she mumbled, already turning red.

"I think you do," Nick said as he started to laugh, Matt and Ian joining in even though they had no idea what Nick was getting at.

"What is it, Fi?" Ian asked with a grin. "What do you want to ask me?"

"Sod it all," Fiona mumbled away from the microphone, sending Nick into another fit of giggles. "Ian, will you go out on a date with me?"

Ian went wide-eyed and his mouth dropped open while Nick and Matt erupted into laughter. Fiona buried her face in her hands in embarrassment, mumbling curses under her breath.

"What's it going to be, Ian? Gonna take Fiona out for a night on the town?" Nick said, wiggling his eyebrows at Ian as he kept laughing. "Let's give you a bit to think it over, here's Rita Ora's new track."

Fiona started cursing loudly as soon as their microphones were silenced while Ian demanded to know what was going on, leaving Matt laughing so hard he actually fell out of his chair. Nick kept snickering, but his attention turned to his phone when the screen lit up with a text.

_Perfect. Now hurry up and come back so I can snog your stupid face off._

Nick bit his lip and smiled widely as he stared down at Louis' text, feeling a warmth spread through his body that he hadn't felt in a long time. He glanced up at his producers; Fiona and Ian were bickering while Matt was trying to get a hold of himself, so Nick knew he had a bit of time to himself.

_Twat. Can't wait :*_

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://imlouisaf.tumblr.com)


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